This false perception that leaders, especially religious and spiritual leaders, have to be non-confrontational and perennially hospitable is manifesting as physical illness in many of us, and even causing the premature deaths of some.
We, the healers, have to stop judging ourselves based on an image projected upon us by people who are often unwilling to do for themselves what they expect us to do for them. Sometimes we need to pull a Moshe, and smote the rock twice. Sometimes we need to be Eliyahu, and fall fire down from heaven.
They fucked us up with the whole “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” bullshit. NO! We are only to love our fellow as ourselves. I have endured kidney disease for just short of thirty-one years trying to uphold an image.
I AM a healer gotdamnit! To be the master healer I AM, I have to achieve the integrity of my own soul, and people pleasing will cost you your whole soul. Hell, I have hurt family and friends trying to satisfy the same crowd who hollers “Hosanna” at me on Yom Roshon, but by Yom Revi’i are screaming “Crucify him!”
Mom has had to watch her son endure the trauma of 158 surgeries, and all because I fought my own soul for so long. I understand now why, in understanding her name derives from Mary, I often sing in my mind the song “Mary Did You Know?” when I AM thinking about our relationship.
It’s time to fulfill the old proverb “Healer (physician) heal thyself”. I refuse to allow disease to rule over me any longer just because someone perpetuated a false image that a messiah is for the idea that it is better that one man die for a whole nation. NO MOTHERFUCKERS!! EVERY man must die for his own sin.
From now on, I AM living my best life. I ain’t going back and forth with you niggas. And by “niggas” I AM not meaning anything racial at all. It is applicable to all those I have allowed to prostitute my energy and my gifts. You gotta problem with that? Here, hold my safe word: FUCK YOU. As far as your miserable ass energy, RETURN TO SENDER. We don’t do that here.